On Having A Beach Body Before The Summer

I have dealt with body image issues most of my adult life. I think most of you would be surprised at what my issues are. I've never been overweight, like EVER. Even those two times I got knocked up, I lost weight because God clearly wants me to remain thickless. The most I have ever weighed was 136 lbs and that was when I was pregnant with baby number 2. When I got pregnant with him, I was 125 lbs, but for the first 6 months, I lost weight due to my morning sickness making me look at food like it was the devil.

Morning sickness ain't no joke Joe. If I could, I'd kill that bitch, burn its body and spit on its grave.

Growing up in the south as a black girl, with thick ass female family members who have prominent womanly features, is something that can make or break you. I've been told that I have Fischer Price Titties, that my legs don't shake when I walk, that my classmates 5 year old niece has bigger tits than mine and that I need to eat among other cruel and unprovoked messed up things. That's right, there were a lot of motherfuckers brought up the wrong way and I just so happened to run across all of them.

At 36 years old, I am still dealing with learning to love my body as it is. I am and have always been skinny AF. My goal for the last 16 years has been to gain weight AND keep it on. You see, I have no problem gaining weight at all. It's just as easy to gain it as it is for me to lose it. My problem is my metabolism, I've got the type of metabolism that makes you lose 5 lbs by typing, "I need to lose 5 lbs". All those calories my fingers just burned really just set me back. But seriously, my metabolism is like that of a 5 year old. One week I can weigh 130 lbs and a week later I'm back down to 123 lbs. Its frustrating as hell at times because you get so happy with the progress you've made, then if you get a little sick, feel a little down, miss a couple of meals, you've got to start all over again. *throws mouse across the room, but not really*

Since Bae is getting all ripped and stuff, I feel like I need to match his sexy too. My goal is a healthy 145 lbs. I plan on sprinting for fat loss (around the belly), eating the foods I love to eat (because bitch I don't diet) and doing some weight training to build muscle. I don't have to look like Kathy Drayton by the midsection or anything, I just don't want any belly overage when I sit down. What I do want are toned legs and arms and for my ass to look a bit Bonita Applebumerish. I will bravely post try to remember to post progress pics and talk about the things I'm doing to look 30-Fine. I plan on buying a few bikinis this summer and giving 20 year old women something to look forward to in their mid to late 30s.

This journey will begin sometime next week. I want to take my time coming up with a schedule and to do a little research on the types of exercises that I need to do to achieve my goals. I'll post up once I begin.